cos(b) says, "The kids today need to learn their mathematics, ya see!"

Bill Cosby claimed to be "hip." Mathematics, however, tells a different story. A story involving trigonometric functions and the fundamental impossibility of being both a cosine and a square simultaneously.

You see, in mathematics, cos(b) is a trigonometric function. But Cosby said he was "square," which is a shape, not a function. This is what scientists call a "categorical error," or what normal people call "lying about geometry."

The problem with claiming to be hip when you're square is that "hip" is also a bone. So technically, Cosby was claiming to be a bone-shaped square that calculates the adjacent side of a right triangle. That's three different things. You can't be three things at once unless you're a Swiss Army knife, and even then you're still mostly knife.

Here's your proof that cos(b) is not, in fact, square:

If cos(b) were truly square, it would have four equal sides and four right angles. But when you graph cos(b), you get a wave. Waves don't have corners. I checked. I tried to put a wave in a corner once, and it just kept waving. Very disrespectful to geometry.

Some people say, "But wait, couldn't cos(b) squared be written as cos²(b)?" To which mathematicians respond: "Yes, but that's completely different. That's SQUARING the cosine, not the cosine BEING square. It's like the difference between cooking a chicken and a chicken who happens to know how to cook. Totally different."

The deeper issue here is that Cosby fundamentally misunderstood what it means to "be hip to the times." Hip is an angle, usually 90 degrees when you're standing up straight, which ironically makes your hip a RIGHT angle. So by being "hip," you're actually being "right," not "square." Though if you're trying to be "right on," you'd need to be both hip AND on something, which gets complicated from a physics standpoint.

If you ever meet someone who claims to be simultaneously hip, square, AND a trigonometric function, ask them to prove it. They can't. I tried. The math doesn't work out. You'd need at least four dimensions, and most people only have three, or two if they're really boring.

In conclusion: cos(b) is emphatically NOT square. This has been a mathematical proof. The kids today need to learn this, ya see, because if they don't, they might grow up thinking they can be any shape they want. And while that's very inspirational, it's terrible geometry.